Sept 1, 2017

Dear Mic

Today I woke up feeling a little better. I've talked to Luloy kagabi. I know I shouldnt. But I have lots of questions, unresolved issues. Di ako maka-move on until you tell it to me why you fell out of love. 

I'm going to be strong Mic. I'll pick up the pieces of my life again. I'll be a better person. Someone who is happy and love without the need of a partner. Someone I used to be before I met you. 

This afternoon I watched a video of Matthew Hussey. I realized the things that went wrong. I lost my self, my identity when I got into a relationship with you. It's like an eye opener for me. In that process when I lost my identity, sa iyo umikot mundo ko, I got depressed whenever I dont hear from you. I realized na hindi pala dapat ganun. I should still do the things that I like doing before I met you. That my life shouldn't revolved around you. That you are a part of my life but not entirely my life. That I shouldn't put expectations on ourselves. I realized all these after I lost you and now I am regretting all that. I lost my chance and I can't blame you. Looking back, I can only place 🙄 (eye roll) sa sarili ko. 😊

But I'm working on myself now. Working to be someone who is happy and positive in life. To find myself again before you, the "me" before you. The relationship that we had is a learning relationship for me. Ikaw ang first serious relationship that I had and I don't have regrets. Kahit nung nagbreak tayo. Siguro way ito ni Lord para marealize at mahanap ko ang sarili ko uli. To find happiness and love by myself, without the need of a partner. I am thankful it is you that I fell in love with. No ragrets hehe. 

I hope you can forgive me. I promise to do better next time and learn from this mistake (losing myself in a relationship). 

PS. I hope we can still be friends. 

Les