broken silence.
It's amazing the kind of things people do for love sometimes. We rip our hearts out, tear ourselves to shreds,give up our dreams, defy the people that care about us..... and we do it all for the very simple thing we call "love".We make sacrifices. We do the very things that make us cry out in pain, and we do it all with our heads held high, unshed tears stinging our eyes, fighting every breath to be strong. We make decisions that we would have never contemplated before we heard the whispered "I love you", before we fell all the pieces suddenly come together and before there was life in our lives. Nothing matters but that person we have deemed worthy of our heart. Nothing matters but protecting that person, keeping them happy and safe, giving them the best life we can, regardless of whether that life is entwined with ours. We are willing to lose a part of ourselves, or even all of ourselves, to ensure the happiness of the one person that makes everything - the pain, the heartbreak, the tears - worthwhile. And when someone asks, "Why did I do that? Why did I carve out my heart and slice it into pieces?" I have only one answer to give. "Love", I whispered, and it hurts too much to even form the words. That's all I know. That's the only thing keeping me sane, the only thing keeping me from ramming my fist into a window or dragging the shiny metal blade deep across my skin. I did it for love. I did a good thing, perhaps the best thing I have ever done or will ever do. I may never stop hurting and I may always be missing a part of myself, but I did the one thing that mattered, I loved, and I did it well. I did it the way it was supposed to be done, without expectations, without reserve, without fear.
Sometimes the best thing to do when you love someone is to walk away. Sometimes it's the only thing I can do to protect them. Sometimes even if it kills me inside, I blow them a kiss goodbye from a distance, try to memorize every aspect of their face, then turn around and walk away. I try to remember the way they looked at me, with so much love and trust. I remember the way my skin burned as his fingertips ran over me. I hold on to the love that ran through my veins when we were lost in each other. I try to remember the little things - the way we laughed, the way his face reflected the light, the way he would stare at me as I moved around the room, the way he would run his fingers through my hair, the sound of his voice as he called my name. And maybe, my name was never as beautiful as it was when he whispered it against my ear.
I remember all of that as I walk away, knowing the memories are all I have. I’m setting my love free, hoping against hope that they will come back to me. I know better, but I still hope. A small part of me hopes that he realize that I'm the one for him, that no one in the world will love him like I do, and I hope that it matters enough to make him come back to me. I know he won't, but I still hope because I want him to love me the way I love him. Maybe he can't. Maybe I love him more than he will ever love me. Maybe I have more love to give than he does. Maybe all the love he can ever offer me is never enough and I know that if I stick around, I will just demand more and he will resent me.
Sometimes we think we know so well what is best for another person that we neglect to look past ourselves to that other person who will be affected by our decision. Sometimes we may realize the mistake we made by walking away from the person who loved us but didn't know how to show it.
Sometimes we may hate them for walking away, no matter what their reasons are. We may hate them for taking our heart with them, for taking away our control of our own life.
We may find each other again and we may see that love still shines, and hopefully then I will have realized that life is no life at all without you, the one person I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. Love can hurt. It can hurt so much. It can make us want to give up on life, on ever being happy again. It can make us cry for no real reason. It can make us bitter and hateful. It can make us shut down and hide in the darkness of our despair. After a while we may hold on to the pain because we don't know how to live without it anymore. We hold on to it because that's all there is left of love. We listen to music that reminds us of happier times and we swallow in the memories because we want our brittle heart to break over and over. We want to remember that we loved. We want to remember that we lost.
Then one day, when the sky is clear and the wind whispers a gentle greeting, we take a breath that reaches the very soles of our feet and send an arrow of warmth straight to our hearts. I remember. I remember the pain, the tears, the laughter, the kisses, the scent of his skin, the way he came alive in my hands. I remember, but I can smile now. Not a smile that only reaches my eyes, but one that comes from my heart. I'm starting to heal and I'm starting to forget. Maybe I fight to hold on to the memories that are slowly disintegrating. Maybe I let the wind sweep away the dust, no longer needing to remember. Maybe I long to forget. Maybe I still hope, because I still think that love is meant to be, but for now I learn to live a little and smile and breathe.
Learning to breathe again is the most difficult part of all.
"The thing is, I went to hell and back for love and I still lost it. I never thought I'd heal from it. But I did. And then I met someone, who had been to the same hell and lost the love of his life. We looked at each other like two people who had been part of the same war. We shared our battle scars and we understood how much pain each of us was hiding beneath our eyes. We forgave each other that night.... and we learned to forgive ourselves."
On a light note (totally unrelated above hehe)
Facilitator: "Ok, say something about yourself."
"Hi everyone. My name's Leslie, 21 years old. The trait, or traits rather, that best describe me is that I'm passionate and driven.."
Here's to my NEW CAREER!
More kwento tomorrow after my last day of orientation.. :)
maybe it's high time that I start fixing my bummer life and earn my own money para hindi na ako napagiiwanan ng panahon..
CHANGE is the keyword dahling..
DRIVE is what keeps you rolling in the business.. =)
Here's another one for ALTITUDE 2007! - it's finally out.
may tampo ako dito that's why ayoko muna magpakita sa office..
Imagine yourself as the lay-out editor of this book.. of course, as the artist, you are overly excited on when this will arrive and be released, after all.. this is your brainchild, the prototype, the beginning of everything, your first venture into the pro graphic business... ok, tama na, just imagine the feeling of heightened anticipation period.
Days passed, you wait and wait and wait for updates but none came... not even a single text on whether if the book will still be released or not; or if they still need your assistance (which you'll be more than happy to oblige because you belong to the team who made this book possible).. but sadly, none came.. as in zero, null, 0, WALA..
then one night, a text came from Ate C who's also part of the team, informing me that the the release was moved and blah blah blah.. DISAPPOINTED is an understatement.. buti nagtext si _____, if not, what could possibly happen to the misled team member.. ok, enough of this friggin' drama, nakasusura na... ang gusto ko lang sabihin, sana ininform niya ako at hindi sa iba ko pa nalaman.
entiendes?
Sometimes the best thing to do when you love someone is to walk away. Sometimes it's the only thing I can do to protect them. Sometimes even if it kills me inside, I blow them a kiss goodbye from a distance, try to memorize every aspect of their face, then turn around and walk away. I try to remember the way they looked at me, with so much love and trust. I remember the way my skin burned as his fingertips ran over me. I hold on to the love that ran through my veins when we were lost in each other. I try to remember the little things - the way we laughed, the way his face reflected the light, the way he would stare at me as I moved around the room, the way he would run his fingers through my hair, the sound of his voice as he called my name. And maybe, my name was never as beautiful as it was when he whispered it against my ear.
I remember all of that as I walk away, knowing the memories are all I have. I’m setting my love free, hoping against hope that they will come back to me. I know better, but I still hope. A small part of me hopes that he realize that I'm the one for him, that no one in the world will love him like I do, and I hope that it matters enough to make him come back to me. I know he won't, but I still hope because I want him to love me the way I love him. Maybe he can't. Maybe I love him more than he will ever love me. Maybe I have more love to give than he does. Maybe all the love he can ever offer me is never enough and I know that if I stick around, I will just demand more and he will resent me.
Sometimes we think we know so well what is best for another person that we neglect to look past ourselves to that other person who will be affected by our decision. Sometimes we may realize the mistake we made by walking away from the person who loved us but didn't know how to show it.
Sometimes we may hate them for walking away, no matter what their reasons are. We may hate them for taking our heart with them, for taking away our control of our own life.
We may find each other again and we may see that love still shines, and hopefully then I will have realized that life is no life at all without you, the one person I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. Love can hurt. It can hurt so much. It can make us want to give up on life, on ever being happy again. It can make us cry for no real reason. It can make us bitter and hateful. It can make us shut down and hide in the darkness of our despair. After a while we may hold on to the pain because we don't know how to live without it anymore. We hold on to it because that's all there is left of love. We listen to music that reminds us of happier times and we swallow in the memories because we want our brittle heart to break over and over. We want to remember that we loved. We want to remember that we lost.
Then one day, when the sky is clear and the wind whispers a gentle greeting, we take a breath that reaches the very soles of our feet and send an arrow of warmth straight to our hearts. I remember. I remember the pain, the tears, the laughter, the kisses, the scent of his skin, the way he came alive in my hands. I remember, but I can smile now. Not a smile that only reaches my eyes, but one that comes from my heart. I'm starting to heal and I'm starting to forget. Maybe I fight to hold on to the memories that are slowly disintegrating. Maybe I let the wind sweep away the dust, no longer needing to remember. Maybe I long to forget. Maybe I still hope, because I still think that love is meant to be, but for now I learn to live a little and smile and breathe.
Learning to breathe again is the most difficult part of all.
"The thing is, I went to hell and back for love and I still lost it. I never thought I'd heal from it. But I did. And then I met someone, who had been to the same hell and lost the love of his life. We looked at each other like two people who had been part of the same war. We shared our battle scars and we understood how much pain each of us was hiding beneath our eyes. We forgave each other that night.... and we learned to forgive ourselves."
Taken from Manila Bulletin published on May 20, 2005. The author is a sophomore BS HRM student specializing Culinary Arts at DLSU - College of St. Benilde.
On a light note (totally unrelated above hehe)
Facilitator: "Ok, say something about yourself."
"Hi everyone. My name's Leslie, 21 years old. The trait, or traits rather, that best describe me is that I'm passionate and driven.."
Here's to my NEW CAREER!
More kwento tomorrow after my last day of orientation.. :)
maybe it's high time that I start fixing my bummer life and earn my own money para hindi na ako napagiiwanan ng panahon..
CHANGE is the keyword dahling..
DRIVE is what keeps you rolling in the business.. =)
Here's another one for ALTITUDE 2007! - it's finally out.
may tampo ako dito that's why ayoko muna magpakita sa office..
Imagine yourself as the lay-out editor of this book.. of course, as the artist, you are overly excited on when this will arrive and be released, after all.. this is your brainchild, the prototype, the beginning of everything, your first venture into the pro graphic business... ok, tama na, just imagine the feeling of heightened anticipation period.
Days passed, you wait and wait and wait for updates but none came... not even a single text on whether if the book will still be released or not; or if they still need your assistance (which you'll be more than happy to oblige because you belong to the team who made this book possible).. but sadly, none came.. as in zero, null, 0, WALA..
then one night, a text came from Ate C who's also part of the team, informing me that the the release was moved and blah blah blah.. DISAPPOINTED is an understatement.. buti nagtext si _____, if not, what could possibly happen to the misled team member.. ok, enough of this friggin' drama, nakasusura na... ang gusto ko lang sabihin, sana ininform niya ako at hindi sa iba ko pa nalaman.
entiendes?
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