-ee gusun, sarang ishimika?--

During the one and a half years that I endured this course, I've met a lot of people. People who came in and out of my life and left footprints in it. I may not be good in remembering names pero when I see them, I either smile at them or greet them. Afterall, that person became part of you even for just a short span of time.
Presently, there's this person who I find really really amusing. Amusing in the sense that when I'm with him, everthing seems to light up (I'd rather not mention his name, let curiousity do its stuff). When I'm with him, I feel blissful with those little things that we do. ee gusun, sarang ishimika?(is this love?) I don't know. This strange feeling just came to me lately… months ago? I guezz. Whenever I'll look at him, it's hard to stare directly. darn! my eyes' betraying me! Too much closeness could be lethal isn't it? The feeling's undeniable and quite tough to ignore now. ee gusun sarang ishimika? Neh, sarang hae oppa. Im still thinking if I should confess this to him… "To love is to risk rejections; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing!". I don't wanna just stare and do nothing, time's running and the schoolyear's gonna end up real soon and the next thing I knew, we won't be classmates anymore. Just thinking about it makes me really sad. if I'll confess this, he might spurn me… ouch, that hurts, the friendship we built will go for nothing and besides, I might look too impertinent, I was born into this world (in defeat? Oration ba yun'?) with this wary tagline: girls must never ever do the initial move . And if I won't confess, I'd end up a coward, locked up with my feelings and remain a shadow forever. Haay, ang hirap magmahal tlga. In fact, that's not only my dilemma… this one's the worst fear --> Being discarded because of my religious conviction. Alright, actually I'm not expecting mutuality in this scenario… (a one-sided love affair, just great!). Anyway, I know God would understand because this is what he has been telling His people for 2 millennia… to love one another. The irony of ironies… Kawawa ka namn lhez, u always fall for the wrong guy. That would really hurt… I know, coz' I've been there. Bahala na si batman. In God's will, everything MUST be alright.

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